Thursday, January 19, 2006

Nicknames


Everyones got them at one time or other in their life, most times one set of friends will call you by one nickname and other by another, while your family may have a third distinct nickname for you.
Let's see if you can name these people and maybe match them up with their nicknames.
Italian Stallion, Tobicho, Toby Juan, Poop Dick, Intern?

1,2,3 Cha Cha Cha, Bobbie Bertle, Boatshoes, Do better?

Gettin some gum, C C, True or False, Bar None, 10S?

Lay naked and shake, Brookie, Harvey, Ride the fence, Talking about doing stuff?

Huxie, Norma, KikitaGirl, Brendita, Blogger Princess ?

Can you figure out who these people are?

Book Review "Sperm Wars The Science of Sex"



Almost everyone who has stopped by this blog has had sex and with multiple partners (well besides Brooks). But, does anyone really know exactly what is going on? This book Sperm Wars sets all us sexual idiots straight. Through his study of the sexual behavior of human and animals Dr. Baker has come up with a warfare theory when it comes to the science of sex and conception. Interesting facts this book brings to light. It takes an average of 500 inseminations to produce a child. 4% of children born to married couples donot have their fathers genes. There are 3 distinct types of sperm, blockers, egg getters and killers. The killers are there to wage war against sperm from another man. Almost all of humans sexual behavior has its root in instinct and a corrolation to animal sexual behavior. Homosexuality, bi-sexuality, infidelity, rape, masturbation, pornographic material. The book is written very distinctly with two types of narratives. Each chapter starts with a non-fiction type story and it is followed by an act by act scientific breakdown of the events and the who, what, why, where and when of sperm warfare.

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

R. I. P. Toby's Blog


I'm sorry I have to do this, I know it is bad news and will be shocking to some, but this week Toby's blog has passed. It had a short and shitty life. With posts about thanksgiving dinner at Brook's house, idea's for stupid things to do while on an internship. Toby's blog left us and now we here in the blogsphere have no web logs to say "Hey at least mine is better than Toby's." The blog leaves behind only pain and sorrow, no lasting memories no family and no friends.

www.titsfortats.blogspot.com
Dick, Balls, Boobies, Goddammit was 2 months old when it passed early this week

The picture has nothing to do with the post other than it was Toby's finest work in the blogsphere.
R.I.P shitty commentary

Sunday, January 08, 2006

The Scale from 1-10 or the 1-5 stars

Alright everyone has a sliding scale when it comes to females. Toby's scale slides as the number of Cuba Libre's goes up his standards go down. I brought out my standard 2,4,6,8,10. I'd like everyone to comment on my choice of pics, and your rating of these random girls from the internet. Let me know if I am way off and if you saw these girls what you would rate them

A-ron

(1-2) (4.5) (6.5) (8.5) (10)
OR

1-5 Star Rating System

1) Though personality is very important in evaluating females, in this scale it can only hurt. Too many men are the type that once they start having sex, they think the girl is cool because she likes having sex with them, and want to raise a woman's rating. This scale is for accuracy of physical appearance only, so keep your feelings for her personality out of this rating. People generally agree more when a woman is a bitch, thus making that more of an objective factor (Personality is obviously important in deciding whether or not you want to date the woman, but not in conveying her physical attractiveness on this scale).

2) Bonus stars can only be given under the following circumstances:
-A woman financially supports the man, or at least buys him everything he wants; capped at 1 star.-A woman is into other women, and lets the man participate in some way (including watching); capped at 1 star.-Sex drive can help, but it can only bring a marginal candidate up a level. For instance, a high 2-star can be elevated to a low 3-star, but an average 2-star CANNOT go to a 3-star, no matter what her sexual habits are.

The scale:
1-star (aka, Common-stock pig): No redeeming qualities. This girl is ugly, usually fat, boring and sucks in just about everyway possible. If you don't know a common-stock pig when you see one, you are destined to spend the rest of your life with one.
2-star (aka, Respectable pig): One redeeming quality, like large breasts, nice butt, cute face, great DSL's, etc. If you concentrate on that one redeeming physical quality, and you get shit-housed, you're not too upset with yourself waking up next to a respectable pig. Of course, you still make her crawl out the window when she leaves, because you don't want your friends to see her, but at least you don't want to gargle bleach and scrub yourself like a rape victim after she leaves.
3-star (aka Decent or attractive): Acceptable to be seen with in public. She is average when sober, but looks MUCH better after only about three beers. You'll admit to your friends that you're having sex with her, but you still make fun of her behind her back, and tell them lies about her sexual prowess and bi-sexual tendencies to justify your dealings with her. She's not bad overall, and will do if nothing better comes along, but could be left in a heartbeat if the opportunity for a hot chick comes along. Sadly, most guys end up having to settle for a 3-star, as these are the most prevalent type of women.
4-star (aka Girlfriend material): This is the girl that is very attractive, but not super hot. You will be seen with her in public at any point in the day, even before drinking. You think twice before ditching this girl for a hot chick, especially if she has special powers (tongue ring, double jointed, etc.). Ascension to the 4-star level can only be attained through use of a petition. The candidate must secure 75% of the vote from those polled. (NOTE: Bonus points only make a candidate petition eligible. She still must garner 75% of the vote.)
5-star (aka Super hottie): This is the hot chick. Hopefully no further explanation is necessary. It's kind of like the Hall of Fame. VERY FEW WOMEN ARE 5-STARS, about 5% of the population. A declaration that someone is hot is assumed to be true, but can be rebuked if 25% of those polled vote against her 5-star placement.
Other category:
0-star (aka, Wildebeast): The lowest of the low. A 1-star (common-stock pig) with a terrible personality qualifies as a Wildebeast. They should all be put to sleep. This is that loud, disgusting fat girl in the bar that smokes, orders complicated drinks and then spills them on everyone, and is generally just so annoying that you have to actively restrain yourself from kicking her in the crotch and stomping on her throat until she drowns on her own blood. There is no insult too mean or crude for her, and basic human rights do not apply to her.

You be the judge.
A-ron